WTF?
by Heartless Shinra Alchemist
Summary: My warning: This is only barely a Kingdom Hearts fanfiction. The only thing that ties it to KH at all is the appearance of Axel. The characters are from: Invader Zim: Zim and Gir LoZ: Majora's Mask: Kafei KH: Axel Teen Titans: Beast Boy EragonEldest: Murt


A/N: I'm warning you now, this will probably make little sense. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the mayhem. I refer to myself as Shinra. Get used to it.

- - - - - - - - - -

The purple-haired boy slammed the door of the Starbucks behind him, trying to send the chill back to wherever it came from. He looked around to find it empty, not even a bored cashier staring off into space. Shrugging, he sat down in a large purple chair that poofed up under him. He glanced down at the letter in his hand.

_Kafei: Wait...I have a letter in my hand?_

_Shinra: Shut up and just look at the letter._

_Kafei: But I didn't have one in my hand before! _

_Shinra: There's one now. Look at it._

The letter told him that he was supposed to meet at this spot. How he got here, he wasn't sure. This place wasn't Clock Town...

_Kafei: Hey...how DID I get here?_

_Shinra: Just shut up...I'm thinking of something to write next._

_Kafei: Write? What does writing have to do with this?_

_Ghost II: Great, Bethany. Just tell him more than he needs to know._

_Shinra: I thought I told you never to call me that! Grabs chainsaw and runs after Ghost II_

_Ghost I: I like ramen noodles. -_

_Kafei: ...What the hell?_

_Ghost I: I like ramen noodles._

_Kafei: I think I got that._

_Ghost I: My work here is done._

The door opened, a hooded man stepping in. Flinging his hood back, he revealed spiky red hair and brilliant emerald green eyes. He walked up to Kafei and grinned, propping his wet boots on a nearby chair.

"The name's Axel. Got it memorized?" he said, flopping into the chair. Kafei sighed.

"My name's Kafei," he muttered, sticking a sullen hand out for Axel to shake. Axel's grin faltered a bit.

"So..you're not the one who invited us here...Shinra was her name?" Kafei frowned.

"Are you saying I'm a girl? And how do you even the person's a girl?" Axel frowned thoughtfully.

"You know...I'm not sure."

_Axel: How do I know that?_

_Shinra: How would I know?_

_Axel: 'Cause you're typing everything that's happening on your keyboard._

_Shinra: Hides keyboard behind back What keyboard?_

_Kafei: The one behind your back._

_Shinra: Looks at keyboard I'm not typing on this._

_Axel: You were._

_Shinra: So?_

_Kafei: You still are. See look, Axel. Her fingers are moving!_

_Shinra: Ghosts! I need your help!_

_Ghot I: Wheeee! _

_Ghost II: Now you two...we can do this the easy way or the hard way._

_Kafei: What are you talking about?_

_Axel: Chakrams appear out of nowhere_

_Ghost II: Glaring at Shinra You're not helping._

_Shira: Fine, fine..._

_Axel: Chakrams disappear. Glares at Shinra How'd you do that?_

_Shinra: Do what?_

_Axel: Rabid flying squirrels give him flowers ...That?_

_Shinra: I had nothing to do that...Glares at Ghost I, who has the keyboard in his hands_

_Kafei: I like ramen noodles!_

_Shinra: Give me that! Snatches keyboard from Ghost I Back to the story..._

_Kafei: Story?_

"Woah..." Axel muttered. The door opened again, another man appearing. He had short greenish-black hair with one stubborn strand that stuck out in the front. He had square glasses and a wide grin.

"Hey! My name's Maes Hughes!" he said happily, practically bouncing as he approached the two. Axel glaced at Maes' hair, amused.

"So...the one thing the three of us have in common is the weird hair color..." he muttered. Maes jumped into another chair, pulling a picture out of his pocket.

"You want to see a picture of my little girl? She just turned four and she's so adorable!"

_Kafei: ...You're kidding me, right? You're not sticking us in a room with this kook, are you?_

_Shinra: Hugs Maes Who said he was a kook? I love him. _

_Maes: You want to see a picture of my daughter?_

_Shinra: Yes!_

_Axel: Hate to burst your guys' bubble, but...And Dr. Dre said...nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead; he's locked in my basement! Dancing_

_Shinra: II, you need to stop listening to Eminem. Takes keyboard away from Ghost II_

_Ghost II: What are you talking about? You're listening to him right now!_

_Shinra: So? I'm talking about your music, not mine._

_Kafei: Why are we having this discussion?_

_Ghost I: Because Shinra can't find anything sensible to write down._

_All but Ghost I: Staring at Ghost I, astonished_

_Ghost I: What?_

_Shinra: I...you said something intelligent._

_Kafei: I'm not sure why, but I'm surprised._

_Axel: I'm with you, buddy._

_Kafei: Buddy?_

_Maes: Does anyone want to see a pic-_

_Kafei and Axel: NO!_

_Shinra: I do!_

_Maes: Shows a picture to Shinra Isn't she so cute?_

_Kafei and Axel: Walks off, discusted_

_Ghost I: Pickles taste good!_

A boy in a purple and black jumpsuit came in, shivering. He approached the three, frowning.

"Hey, I'm Beast Boy...I'm looking for-"

"Lemme guess...Shinra?" Axel said, bored. BB nodded and jumped into another chair. Maes frowned.

"Hey...your skin is green. And your hair...and your eyes!" Kafei rolled his eyes.

"Thanks, Mr. Obvious." There was an odd silence in the room.

"Hey, anyone know what we're doing here?"

_BB: Shinra!_

_Shinra: BB! Runs and hugs BB_

_Kafei: Uhm...are we missing something?_

_BB: She's my biggest fan._

_Ghost I: No, she's MY biggest fan._

_Shinra: Fan? I invented you._

_Ghost II: So, you still are I's fan._

_Shinra: You're high. Continues hugging BB_

_Axel: So...where is this story going?_

_Shinra: Well, I'm not sure. Maybe Christopher Paolini would know._

_Paolini: Appears and looks around, confused What am I doing here?_

_Maes: Shinra here is writing a fanfiction and isn't sure what to do._

_Paolini: ...so? I'm busy not writing the third Inheritance book._

_Shinra: Falls to knees at Paolini's feet Oh, please, Mr. Paolini! I need help from a wonderful author like you!_

_Paolini: Oh fine. You can borrow Murtagh for a bit._

_Shinra: Oh thank you, Mr. Paolini! You're too kind to a pathetic fan like me!_

_Paolini: You're right...I am. Disappears_

_Maes: Well, you could've been a little nicer about it._

_Axel and Kafei: So...can we leave now?_

_Ghost II: Not until Shinra finds Murtagh._

_Axel: Okay. Shinra! Hurry up and find that weird guy!_

_Murtagh: I am not weird!_

_Shinra: Yay! It's Murtagh! Runs and hugs him_

_Ghost I: Mur-mur! Hugs Murtagh's toes_

_Maes: Hey, Shinra. Who's he?_

_Murtagh: I am the son of Morzan, the last of the Forsworn._

_Kafei: Care to ellaborate?_

_Shinra: No. I have an idea for the rest of the story. _

_BB: I haven't said anything in a while..._

_Shinra: Breaks down crying Oh, BB, I'm so sorry for forgetting you! Please forgive me!_

_BB: That's okay...get on with the story._

The four men sat in the Starbucks, confused.

"What do we do now?" BB asked, picking his teeth. Axel shrugged.

"How would I know? I'm not in charge here..." he yawned.

"I am..." said an ominous voice from the shadows. A tall figure slipped from the corner, wrapped in a dark cloak. Murtagh pulled Zar'roc from its sheath and Kafei shifted into a defensive position. The figure merely laughed, however. "MURTAGH!" The man lept forward, striking a dramatic pose. The five all slumped forward. Shrugging, Murtagh threw himself onto the floor, pulling out a rag and polishing Zar'roc. Silence enveloped the room until Beast Boy stood up, finger thrust in the air.

"I know what's going on!" he cried. The others, excluding Murtagh all looked at him in reverance. BB grinned at the attention and stepped forward. "We've been abducted by aliens and they're messing with our minds!" With a roar of rage, Axel flung one of his chakrams at the green teenager, blood and gore covering the floor. Out of nowhere, a girl appeared, throwing her arms about Axel happily.

"Yay! Violence!" she shrieked, rubbing her face into Axel's shoulder happily.

_Kafei: Uhh..._

_Axel: Woah, who's this chick?_

_Shinra: Don't you realize that it's me?_

_Maes: You killed the green boy..._

_Ghost I: Sobs_

_Ghost II: What are you going to do with the carcas?_

_Shinra: What carcas? All I see is blood and gore..._

_Kafei: Runs off, about to throw up_

_Axel: I guess that means there's only three of us left..._

_Murtagh: Huh?_

_Maes: Well, there's you, me, and Axel. So there are three of us left. _

_Shinra: You mean...Kafei and BB aren't coming back?_

_Ghost II: Shinra, you can just ressurect them with your keyboard!_

_Shinra: Oh, right! Looks about for keyboard Hey...where is it, anyway?_

_Ghost I: Kekekekekeke..._

_Shinra: Ghost I? Where- Is squished by a giant cup of ramen noodles_

_Axel: What the...? Is killed by rabid AkuRoku fangirls_

_Ghost II: Crap Facepalms_

_Maes: Is killed by a strange, feminine guy with a gun Damn it, Envy, this is the second time you've killed me..._

_Murtagh: What now? Looks on and starts reading Hey...Eragon's my brother! I don't love him like that...Eww...Disappears as the period of time Paolini had given him is used up_

_Ghost I: Cackles maniacally Muahahahaha...little do they know I am really- Rips off sheet, revealing that he is really- LORD VOLDEMORT!_

_Shinra: Using the last of her strength, she glares up at Voldemort Moldy old Voldy...I knew you'd be the death of me! Dies_

_Ghost I: Walks in and views the carnage Whoot! Turns to Voldemort Moldy old Voldy! Are we gonna make biscuits? Are we gonna make biscuits? _

_Zim: Shut up. Never mention biscuits again, Gir._

_Gir: That wasn't me, it was him._

_Ghost II: So...when is this fic going to end?_

_Zim: When Shinra stops typing._

_Gir: I shoved pickles up my nose..._

_Ghost I: Best buddy! Runs and higs Gir_

_MoV: Anybody else think it's weird that Shinra is still typing this even though she's dead?_

_Ghost II: Dude, everything that girl comes up with is weird..._

_Zim: Ditto that._

_All: Silence_

_Shinra: ...Dammit! I've got a headache! Gets up and throws keyboard on the ground sdjngp;'hg;bn/laebns;go;ihgty03p49 27-0qwur1u9WG-09U42 IGVHWP_

_IRg yh9gy0 47t 092uefip0ht02y49924YU9_

_P9eug-9YG42UG_

_Ghost II: Snatches up keyboard I think that's enough, Shinra._

_**And they all lived happily ever after...Yeah right.**_


End file.
